Art Mann Presents...

Episode Number: 307

Episode Title: Saint Patrick's Day in Dallas

Description: This wild Texas city has beautiful people, a crazy parade and an amazing amount of alcohol consumption.

Transcript:

(SCREAMS) THIS WEEK WE'RE GOING TO SEE HOW TEXAS DOES ST. PATRICK'S DAY

ART MANN IT'S MY FAVORITE SHOW ON HDNet HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY FROM DALLAS TO WHEREVER YOU ARE. (ART'S THEME MUSIC)

WELCOME TO THE SHOW MY FRIENDS TAKE A GUESS WHAT HOLIDAY IT IS TODAY. IT'S ST. PATRICK'S DAY BEADS ARE FLYING I'M GETTING NAILED. A LOT OF CITIES CELEBRATE ST. PATRICK'S DAY BUT WE FIGURED WE WOULD CHECK OUT DALLAS' VERSION OF ST. PATRICK'S DAY IT'S WORKING OUT ALL RIGHT. (SCREAMS) WHOOO

OH I LOVE IT.

I LIKE THIS FLOAT RIGHT HERE, JUST A BUNCH OF PEOPLE DRINKING NO COSTUMES (LAUGHS)

MY LUCKY CHARMS WHAT'S IN THE MUGS? -WATER -VODKA RED BULL SINCE 8 A.M. -LAUGHS THAT'S VERY IMPRESSIVE WE WERE TOLD THIS IS AN ADULT EVENT AND SO AND SO CHEERS

I WANT TO SHOW YOU A FLOAT WE CALL WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? LOOK

WHAT'S GOING ON MAN? ST. PATRICK'S DAY, DALLAS, TX. HELP ME OUT BECAUSE I SEE THAT THERE ARE NO RULES IN THIS PARADE. THERE ARE, THEY GIVE US A WHOLE LIST OF RULES BUT NO ONE FOLLOWS THEM. WHAT IS THE TRUE MEANING OF ST. PATRICK'S DAY THE TRUE MEANING OF ST. PATRICK'S DAY? BE WITH YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS JUST PARTYING YOUR ASS OFF. NICE. YEAH

NOW YOU SEE LIKE SOME OF THE FLOATS ARE JUST PEOPLE CELEBRATING THEIR 40TH BIRTHDAY. IT DOESN'T MATTER. IT COSTS YOU $150 BUCKS TO GET A FLOAT, GET A KEG, SOME BEADS. WHAT IS THE TRUE MEANING OF ST. PATRICK'S DAY? RED HAIR AND REALLY FAIR SKIN AND BE AN ALCOHOLIC, WHOOO!!!!! YEAH ALCOHOLICS

HOW DO YOU GET A FLOAT INTO THIS? YOU CALL OR EMAIL IN AN ENTRY FORM AND THEY APPROVE YOU SO AS YOU CAN SEE WITH THE COOLEST FLOATS, OF COURSE THEY APPROVED US RIGHT AWAY. WHAT IS THAT THING? IT'S A RING TAILED LEMUR FROM MADAGASCAR I LIKE THE VARIETY. YOU CAN HAVE PEOPLE JUST CELEBRATING AN ANNIVERSARY, A BIRTHDAY OR YOU GUYS HAVE WHAT, WHAT IS THIS? THIS IS 126 ACRE WILDLIFE RANCH. YOU DO BIRTHDAY PARTIES, ANNIVERSARIES, IT IS ALL HANDS ON IS THERE ANY DANGER OF YOU JUST GETTING YOUR THROAT RIPPED OUT. NO. ALL OF OUR EDUCATION ANIMALS WE HAVE WORKED WITH SINCE BIRTH TO RAISE AROUND PEOPLE TO SOCIALIZE WITH GROUPS THAT WAY WE KNOW HOW THEY'RE GOING TO ACT IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS AND THEY LOVE PEOPLE IT'S REALLY COOL. THAT LITTLE CREATURE IS AWESOME. THIS IS LEXA, SHE LOVES TO PARTY. SAY SOMETHING. -NICE (LAUGHS) THAT'S ALL RIGHT IT'S NOT MINE, IT'S GLENS.

WHAT HAPPENS OVER THERE ON THE OTHER SIDE. I KNOW THE TICKET IS DOWN THERE, THAT'S WHERE I'M HEADING TO. TELL EVERYONE WHAT THEY NEED TO BRING WITH THEM. IF THEY WERE TO COME TO CHECK OUT THE PARADE. A LITTLE BIT OF THIS RIGHT HERE, COME ON NOW. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE BUDWEISER, IT CAN BE SHINER IT CAN BE GUINNESS BUT THIS WAS GOOD RIGHT HERE. IT'S QUANTITY NOT QUALITY. THAT'S IT EXACTLY HEY WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THE PARADE ENDS? OH THAT'S WHEN IT BEGINS. WE SAW EARLIER IN THE SHOW THE PARADE ON GREENVILLE, WHAT HAPPENS NOW IN GREENVILLE? SH# T GO GET DRUNK. THEY CLOSED IT OFF DOWN THERE RIGHT? YEAH BLOCK PARTY. I'VE NEVER SEEN A PARADE LIKE THAT. THEY'RE AREN'T FANCY FLOATS WITH FLOWERS OH NO, JUST A BUNCH OF DRUNK PEOPLE SCREAMING AND YELLING AND PASSING OUT BEADS. IT'S ALMOST LIKE NEW ORLEANS BUT DALLAS STYLE. WHAT IS THAT? SHE MADE IT FOR ME. IT'S CRYSTAL LIGHT WITH VODKA. (LAUGHS) YOU WATCH OUR SHOW SO YOU SEE THIS IS PERFECT FOR US THEN. YEAH, YEAH PERFECT FOR YOU GUYS BECAUSE ALL YOU DO IS WALK AROUND AND TALK TO DRUNK PEOPLE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT'S A GREAT DAY. HEY, THIS IS A GREAT PARTY IN THE HEART OF DALLAS. WE'RE GOING WITH YOU. WE'RE GOING TO GO DOWN TO WHERE THE STREETS CLOSE AND WE WANT TO TALK TO PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN DRINKING, THAT'S OUR GOAL. WE LOVE ART MANN. WE LIKE TO HELP PEOPLE OUT WITH INFORMATION RIGHT? I FIGURE I'M YOUR INFORMATION GIRL. THAT'S PERFECT. -OH NICE. (LAUGHS)

SO YOU AN LUCKY HAVE PLANS RIGHT NOW? NOT RIGHT NOW. TOGETHER RIGHT NOW. GIMME A LIST OF THINGS THAT PEOPLE NEED TO BRING TO THE ST. PATRICK'S DAY PARADE. LET'S SEE, YOU NEED YOUR COOLER THERE IT IS SOMETHING GREEN IF YOU CAN MAYBE FIND SOMETHING COMFORTABLE SHOES COLD BEER A FULL COOLER AND LOTS OF BLING BLING I FEEL BAD, I FEEL LIKE I'M INTERRUPTING YOU. LUCKY DOESN'T MIND, HE DOESN'T MIND AT ALL.

WHAT IS THE TRUE MEANING OF ST. PATRICK'S DAY? ST. PATRICK'S DAY IS CELEBRATING OUR HERITAGE SHE IS PURE IRISH. PURE? I AM, MY PARENTS ARE BOTH IRISH. LET ME JUST EXPLAIN WHAT WE ARE UP TO. WE JUST WENT TO THAT PARADE. WE ARE ON OUR WAY DOWN TO THIS BLOCK PARTY. EVERYONE IS WALKING BUT WE NOTICE JUST LIKE DOWN THERE IS SOME COUCHES ON THE FRONT LAWN BEHIND US HERE IS ANOTHER PARTY ON A FRONT LAWN. THIS IS JUST THE DEAL. -YEAH I GUESS THEY JUST PARTY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD. EXPLAIN WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT HERE, BECAUSE I LIKE THIS. WELL THIS IS LIKE THIS GENTLEMAN RIGHT HERE, THIS IS HIS LOVELY HOME. AND WE ARE ALL JUST BUDDIES OF HIS AND WE ALL HAVE ON OUR GREEN. WHO'S HOUSE IS THIS? YES. HE'S THE BOYFRIEND. WHAT'S GOING ON NOW? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? IT'S ST. PATRICK'S DAY AND YOU KNOW THIS IS VERY TEXAS TO THROW THE FURNITURE OUT FRONT, RIGHT? (LAUGHS) YES. VERY SOUTHERN. IT'S A SOUTHERN THING. SO WILL WE GO DOWN TO THE BLOCK PARTY THING EVENTUALLY EVENTUALLY YEAH, WE STILL HAVE A KEG OF GREEN BEER THAT WE NEED TO DRINK.

EXPLAIN WHAT'S GOING ON. ONCE AGAIN WE DON'T HAVE A CLUE. WE JUST SEE A LOT OF GREEN, A LOT OF DRINKING GOING ON FILL IN THE BLANKS, GO AHEAD. LINE INCREASING, GREEN IS THE OPERATIVE COLOR RIGHT NOW. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE IRISH, IT'S ALL ABOUT THE GIRLS, THE BLONDE IRISH GIRLS. ST. PATRICK'S DAY IN DALLAS, IT'S WHAT WE LIVE FOR. SHE'S HOTTER -I'M SO IRISH, I CAN DRINK MORE THAN ANYONE. -EXACTLY.

YOU CAN'T SEE IT FROM DOWN HERE BUT FROM WHERE KEITH IS STANDING RIGHT NOW, HE CAN SEE JUST A SEA OF GREEN DRUNK PEOPLE AND I LOVE IT. THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP, ART. THAT'S WHAT I SES AS WELL. TELL ME THE TRUE MEANING OF ST. PATRICK'S DAY RIGHT NOW. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU GET DRUNK, I DON'T KNOW I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO MAKE SOMETHING UP. LUCK YOU KNOW, WHAT WAS THE QUESTION? I WANT TO KNOW THE TRUE MEANING OF ST. PATRICK'S DAY, WHAT IS IT ALL ABOUT? GOOD SEX -IS IT? YES. GIMME SOME TIPS ON THIS ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY IN DALLAS. WELL IT'S' GOING TO BE HOT OUT HERE SO YOU HAVE TO START WITH YOUR BEER, AND THEN YOUR GOING TO MIX IN SOME WATER; OTHERWISE, YOUR NOT GOING TO LAST ALL DAY. (INDISCERNIBLE) -WHAT? YOU DON'T SPEAK IRISH? I THOUGHT IT'S ST. PATRICK'S DAY PLEASE JUST SHOW THAT TAT BECAUSE THERE ARE JUST SO MANY TATTOOS OF SHAMROCKS AND YOU KNOW THAT IS REALLY COOL. WAY BACK IN THE DAY THIS CENTURY A.D. OR WHATEVER THE ENGLISH AND IRISH WERE FIGHTING. THE ENGLISH ENDED UP KIDNAPPING HIS KID WHEN HE WAS 16 OR WHATEVER AND ENSLAVED HIM IN IRELAND. SHOW THE SHOES, LOVE THAT. WHOA CAREFUL. (LAUGHS) SHOW THE SHIRT NOW EVERYONE LOVES THE DRUNK GIRL HE WENT BACK TO ENGLAND, BECAME A PRIEST, REALIZED THAT AT THE TIME IRELAND WAS ALL PAGAN AT THE TIME, WENT BACK TO IRELAND AND CONVERTED IRELAND. CAN YOU SING? (INDISCERNIBLE) IN ENGLISH, HOW'S IT GOING SUGAR? OKAY. I LIKE THIS HOLIDAY BECAUSE EVERYONE IS HUGGING THEY'RE DRINKING RIGHT? THERE'S BOOZE GOD BLESS AMERICA I'D HATE TO BE ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD ON THIS DAY (SINGING IN GAELIC) WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, I PROMISE. NO MORE SINGING. THAT' THE IRISH, THAT'S NOTHING.

WELL FIRST OFF ALL I'D LIKE TO SAY WELCOME BACK. WE JUST CAME BACK FROM BREAK. -HI! THE THING I JUST NOTICED ABOUT ST. PATRICK'S DAY IT'S ALL ABOUT JUST BEER. IT'S NOT ANY OTHER DRINK, RIGHT? WHOOO NOT REALLY. THAT AND YAGER BOMBS JUST TO MIX IT UP A LITTLE. THIS IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT RIGHT HERE. THERE IS A GUY NAMED CHAD THAT SENT US AN EMAIL SAYING THAT WE GOT TO BRING THE SHOW DOWN HERE, I WAS ASSUMING HEY WE'LL PROBABLY BUMP INTO CHAD. WE'RE NEVER GOING TO SEE CHAD. NEVER. THANKS CHAD! WHERE ARE YOU GUYS FROM. -DALLAS THANK YOU -HELLO! I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU DALLAS. -BEER BONG! WHOOO I'M FROM DALLAS. -OKAY SO YOU KNEW THIS IS COMMON KNOWLEDGE TO COME HERE. IT'S ONLY MY SECOND TIME. YEAH IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THIS? -YES. SET GO, GO GO GO WHOOO (LAUGHS) WE STARTED WITH A PARADE. PEOPLE WERE DRINKING AT THE PARADE THIS MORNING. I WAS THERE, IT WAS MY BREAKFAST. I'VE THROWN AWAY HALF MY CUPS AND THEN I'M GOING TO THROW AWAY THESE AND I MAY GET SOME MORE. IT'S COMING OUT OF YOUR NOSE (LAUGHS)

OH THIS MIGHT BE GOOD. IS THIS A TIP HERE TO KEEP TRACK OF HOW MANY BEERS YOU'VE HAD IS THAT WHAT'S HAPPENING. NO ACTUALLY I DON'T HAVE ANY PLASTIC CUPS AT HOME. OH, OKAY. OH THIS IS BRAVE. SHE'S COMING THROUGH WITH THE CRUTCHES. WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO HER CHEST? WHAT UP DAWG? -WHAT UP ART? TALK TO US. -HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN A LONG TIME. TELL ME ABOUT THIS. -WELL YOU KNOW IT'S MY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR. I'D LIKE TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO THE TEXAS LONG HORNS (SCREAMS) I'M FROM CALIFORNIA, DOING IT BIG RIGHT? TRYING TO PARTY OUT HERE, OUR FRIENDS SHOWING US HOW DALLAS DOES IT FOR ST. PATRICK'S DAY WHO IS THE LOCAL? -SHE'S THE LOCAL HI. THE BEST WEEKEND EVER. IS THAT HOW MANY BEERS YOU'VE HAD? -MAYBE GIMME THE CONVERSATION WHEN YOU WERE TALKING THEM INTO COMING OUT HERE. THEY JUST MOVED HERE FROM SACRAMENTO AND I WAS BASICALLY LIKE GUYS IT'S SO MUCH FUN. MY SHAMROCKS ARE 100% REAL. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? UM, MY SHAMROCKS MEANING MY BREASTS ARE 100% REAL. THAT GUY IS SHOWING HIS BOOBS, OH MY GOD ! THAT GUYS IS THE CRAZY. TELL ME THE THEORY ON THIS. WHAT DO YOU HAVE? I'M TRYING TO KEEP TRACK OF HOW MUCH I'VE DRANK SO THIS IS BEERS AND ON THE OTHER SIDE SHOTS AND IN THE MIDDLE WE'RE GOING TO DO WATER. LUCKY CHARMS YEAH !

EVERYONE LOVES AN IRISH GIRL, ESPECIALLY..WHY ARE YOU NOT SUPPOSED TO ZOOM IN ON IT. TELL PEOPLE WHY DALLAS, TEXAS WHY THE ST. PATRICK'S DAY CELEBRATION HERE BLOWS AWAY THE REST OF THE CITY. BECAUSE EVERYONE GETS OUT, GETS ROWDY TELL THEM BECAUSE YOU CAN GO CELEBRATE ST. PATRICK'S DAY ANYWHERE. THEY'RE LAME. -THANK YOU WHY WOULD THEY COME TO DALLAS? -BECAUSE LOOK AT THIS SH# T THERE IS BOOBIES. -LOOK AROUND. LOOK AROUND. THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING. SEE ON THIS SHOW WHAT IT'S BECOME IS JUST US TALKING TO DRUNK PEOPLE SO I NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE HIGHEST CONCENTRATION OF DRUNK PEOPLE WILL BE. RIGHT HERE.

SHOW YOUR NIPPLES, YOU, YOU, YOU. -WHAT? I'VE SEEN MORE BOOBS TODAY AND I'M HERE REPRESENTING UTAH. -NICE AND I LOVE YOU. OHHH SH# T HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ARE YOU GUYS FROM HERE. NO, WE'RE NOT. I'M FROM TENNESSEE. DUDE THAT WAS U-TARDED. THANK YOU, THANK YOU THANK YOU THAT WAS AWESOME. I LOVED IT. WHY DO YOU LOOK SO PUZZLED? I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I'M WATCHING THESE PEOPLE RIGHT HERE AND THEY'RE VERY PUZZLING #1 AND #2 THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON. DO YOU WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH HIM? -NO. I'M HERE FROM VENEZUELA. C'MON LET RED THROUGH. -AHHHHHHH IT'S GETTING CRAZY. -I WANT TO KISS HER. THAT SUMS UP THAT'S I LOVE IT, BRING IT ON. KISS, PLEASE. I KNOW HER. THAT'S HOSPITALITY THERE HUH? -I LOVE IT. THE THING IS ONCE THIS CLOSES DOWN PARTY DOESN'T STOP. WE KEEP GOING -SAME PLACE? HMMM WE'LL BRANCH IT OUT A BIT. NOW IS EVERYONE THIS NICE OR JUST THE PEOPLE THAT TEND TO CELEBRATE THEY'RE JUST DRUNK. IT'S NOT NICE, THEY'RE JUST DRUNK. IT'S A GREEN MULLET. ST. PATRICK'S DAY THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY. (SCREAMS) LOUD NOISES YEAH CAN I HAVE A TEXAS YEE HAW PLEASE. YEEE HAW I TELL YOU WHAT I'VE BEEN TO SO MANY ST. PATRICK'S DAY PARTIES BUT NOTHING IS BETTER THAN DALLAS. I MEAN THEY BLOW IT UP BIG TIME. IT'S A GREAT PARTY. WE SAW THAT PARADE RIGHT? AND INSTEAD OF HAVING LIKE YOU KNOW HOW THEY HAVE THE FLOATS WITH THE FLOWERS AND EVERYTHING, YOU DON'T HAVE THAT. YOU JUST HAVE A TRAILER BEING PULLED BY A TUNDRA OR SOMETHING AND THEN THERE ARE JUST PEOPLE WITH PLASTIC CUPS. IT IS BRILLIANT. YOU WANT TO COME DOWN AND BE IN THE PARADE? YOUR IN OKAY. GET A TRAILER AND A CAR YOUR IN. WHERE ARE YOU FROM? -DALLAS DALLAS, TEXAS, HUH? IS THIS HOW YOU GUYS ROLL DOWN HERE? -YEAH HI, IT'S ART AND I, I'M NICOLE, THIS IS ART. -HI. WE'RE HANGING OUT IN DALLAS. WHAT UP DALLAS? (SCREAMS) WHAT IS THIS LIKE AS A HOT CHICK COMING TO THIS PARTY, WHAT IS IT LIKE FOR YOU? LOTS OF ASS GRABBING. -YEAH DRUNKTASTIC. -GIMME THE DEFINITION OF THAT. DRUNKTASTIC IT'S WHEN YOU DRUNK HAVING A FANTASTIC TIME. ARE THERE ANY CELEBRITIES DOWN HERE? WILL WE SEE A CELEBRITY COME DOWN TO THIS BIG PARTY. SHE'S BEEN ON REALITY T.V. OH, NICE WHAT SHOW? FOR LOVE OR MONEY. -NICE. SHE WON. -DID YOU REALLY? OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? -I'M WEARING SOME REALLY CUTE HEELS, AREN'T THEY CUTE? THEY'RE GREEN OH MY THONG. -NO OFFENSE I DIDN'T SEE THE SHOES. YOU CAN'T BE IN ST. PATRICK'S DAY PARADE WITHOUT HAVING A LITTLE FUN. YOU BROKE UP? WE BROKE UP. LIKE SIX MONTHS AGO. AND HE'S THE GUY. -HE'S A FOOL. HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING AND HE'S NOW ALREADY ENGAGED TWO MONTHS LATER SO, IT'S CRAZY, IT'S SUPPOSED TO WORK OUT. YOUR SUPPOSED TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER I KNOW, YEAH RIGHT. YOUR GOING TO TAKE CARE OF ALL THIS ALCOHOL. YES I AM. BECAUSE I'M A HOW ARE YOU STILL WALKING? BECAUSE I'M A PIMP. -NICE. NEXT TIME I'M PICKING MONEY. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEAUTY OF THIS THING TODAY IS, YOU NEED VERY LITTLE MONEY YOU DON'T NEED LOVE HERE BECAUSE WHEN YOU GET HERE YOU WILL FIND IT IN DALLAS RIGHT? YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. -I KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT BUT I THINK MONEY DOES BUY HAPPINESS SORT OF. WHAT TIME DID YOU START TODAY? I HAD TO WAIT LIKE IN A 3 HOUR LINE BUT I STARTED AT LIKE 1 O'CLOCK. WE'LL KNOW IF WE'RE ON TELEVISION OR NOT OR YOUR JUST GOING TO SPRING IT ON US. YOUR ON T.V. RIGHT NOW. -OH (LAUGHS)

IF WE COME OUT AND SHOOT ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY WE GET PURE GOLD. THAT'S ALL I NEED TO KNOW. WE DON'T NEED A LEPRECHAUN, A RAINBOW, A POT OF GOD, THIS IS MY POT OF GOLD. OH THAT'S AWESOME.

HERE IT COMES, BAM LOOK AT THAT, YOUR CRAZY, YOUR LIKE A MODEL. THAT WAS GOOD ATTITUDE. -THAT'S ALL I GOT. SORRY. HEY IS THAT YOUR MAN? -ST. PATRICK'S DAY FOREVER YOU GUYS SHOW THE PEOPLE AT HOME. YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT MY ANGLE RIGHT HERE. LOOK DOWN THIS RIVER. COME THIS WAY AND STAY WITH IT BECAUSE WHEN PEOPLE CLEAR OUT, THAT'S FANTASTIC.

WHAT UP DUDE? -HDNet WHERE'S HD AND SH# T -REPRESENT RIGHT HERE. IN SOME OF THE CITIES THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH OVERCROWDING AND A LOT OF TRAFFIC. I AGREE. THERE GO MY PANTS, IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY THERE GO MY PANTS. WHAT SHOULD WE TRY TO DO TO EASE SOME OF THAT TRAFFIC. WELL YOU KNOW WHAT WE SHOULD DO TO EASE THE TRAFFIC, WE SHOULD WIDEN LANES KRAMER STYLE. YOU KNOW THAT YOUR PANTS ARE DOWN. I KNOW. FULLY AWARE. -I MEAN I DON'T WANT TO BE RUDE OR DISRESPECTFUL DID YOU WET YOURSELF. -NO, I DID NOT. BUT I'M NOT AFRAID OF IT. HERE WE GO, GO, GO LET'S GO MAVS.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, GONNA TAKE A QUICK BREAK. MORE OF THIS STUFF AFTER THE BREAK, I PROMISE.

YOUR NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO USE THAT BECAUSE WE'RE NOT DRUNK ENOUGH -THAT'S OKAY BUT I JUST WANTED TO MEET YOU. THEY USE ME I'M NOT DRUNK SO IT'S GOOD. WE'LL USE YOU I JUST WANTED TO MEET YOU I'M AMBER SHAFFER YOUR JUST IN TIME, LOOK WE CAME BACK FROM A COMMERCIAL BREAK. WELCOME EVERYONE BACK. HELLO. SO YOU CAN'T BE DRUNK FOR THAT BECAUSE THAT'S SOME BUSINESS WE HAD TO TAKE CARE OF. WE HAD TO SAY WELCOME BACK AND WE ALSO SHOULD TELL THEM WHAT'S GOING ON. WHAT'S GOING ON? THE SUN HAS GONE DOWN. THIS IS WHAT THE LOWER GREENVILLE IN DALLAS ST. PATRICK'S DAY SO THAT BLOCK PARTY WE WERE AT WAS UP THERE, WHAT'S THAT CALLED, JUST GREENVILLE, UPPER GREENVILLE YEAH JUST GREENVILLE. I GUESS. I'M NEW. -SO BASICALLY THIS ENTIRE DAY WE'VE JUST BEEN ON GREENVILLE AND WE FOUND ENOUGH PEOPLE TO DO A WHOLE SHOW. -THAT'S GREAT.

NOW WHY ARE YOU NOT DRUNK, YOU'VE HAD AN ENTIRE DAY TO DRINK. WE JUST GOT HERE. -OH OKAY. YEAH, YEAH -SO YOU WILL BE DRUNK SO YOUR LIKE THE SECOND SHIFT. -THE SECOND SHIFT. YEAH WE'RE GOING TO WRAP IT UP. ALL RIGHT WHERE WERE GOING TO WANDER AROUND. I HEAR THE PLACE TO BE ACTUALLY HANDS DOWN IS THIS PUBLIC HOUSE. THIS IS WHERE I'M MEETING MY FRIENDS. -WE'RE GOING UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW. VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.

I'M HERE AT THE PUBLIC HOUSE ON LOWER GREENVILLE. GOT THE BET ROOFTOP IN DALLAS, GOT THE BEST FOOD IN DALLAS. WE GOT THE DALLAS PARTY BOYS. NOW WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE A PLACE LIKE AUSTIN TO CELEBRATE ST. PATRICK'S DAY IN DALLAS. WILD AND CRAZINESS? CHAD WHO SENT US AN EMAIL HE TOLD US WE GOTTA CHECK OUT ST. PATRICK'S DAY IN DALLAS, WE HAVEN'T SEEN CHAD, WE CAN'T FIND CHAD BUT HE DID RECOMMEND YOUR PLACE. NOW WHY DOES A GUY LIKE THAT SEND US AN EMAIL AND RECOMMEND THIS PLACE. WHAT IS IT ABOUT IT? YOU'RE HERE, LOOK AT IT, IT'S EVERYTHING YOU WANT. WHAT IS THE TRUE MEANING OF ST. PATRICK'S DAY? PARTYING REALLY? WHO WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT BORING HISTORY THIS IS PARTYING. TALK TO ME ABOUT ST. PATRICK'S DAY IN DALLAS. IT'S F# # KING GREAT YEAH WHOOO (SCREAMS)

HEY HOW YOU DOING? -WE'RE SISTERS. DUBLIN, DUBLIN -NEBRASKA (LAUGHS) -THAT'S CRAZY (SCREAMS) NOT TOO CLOSE WE GOTTA GET A GOOD FOCUS ON THAT HAT. DON'T GET TOO CLOSE. SO, YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME. WE DO A TRAVEL SHOW. HERE IS WHAT WE'VE DONE. WE'VE SEEN THE PARADE IN THE FIRST PART OF THE SHOW AND THAT WAS KIND OF COOL, WE WENT TO THE BLOCK PARTY AND NOW WE'RE CHECKING THIS OUT WHICH (SCREAMS) INTO YOUR MIND, GREENVILLE WHERE'S YOUR MIND WHAT, WHAT, DALLAS IS THE SH# T WHAAAAA

THANKS, HEY. NICE. DID YOU DO THAT TODAY IN THE CELEBRATION. I GOT IN A CAR WRECK INSTEAD. LOOK AT THAT. THAT'S BEAUTIFUL MY GRANDPARENTS ARE FROM CORK IRELAND. COULD YOU TWO AS SISTERS GIVE US A WONDERFUL LIST OF THINGS YEAH YOU NEED TO BRING TO DALLAS? WE'LL LIST THEM ON THE SCREEN AS YOU SAY IT, IT'S KIND OF COOL. SKANKY GREEN OUTFIT, BEER, -NICE UH, SUNBLOCK (LAUGHS) HOT BRAS A LOT OF SKANKY BEADS AS WELL, I'M USING THE WORD SKANK A LOT IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED. AND US OF COURSE YOU HAVE TO KNOW US TO BE HERE. THANK YOU CLEARLY DUDE YOU ARE HAMMERED RIGHT NOW. (LAUGHS)

OF F# # K YEAH LOOK AT MY FACE, I BEEN OUT FOR F# # KING LIKE 10-12 HOURS. TWO SEXY GIRLS DUDE, WHAT'S YOUR STORY? UH, I'M PRETTY LUCK I GUESS. WHAT IS IT ABOUT, WHAT IS IT THAT WE LIKE ABOUT HANGING OUT WITH HIS GUY? HIS SOCK. -(LAUGHS) YOU KNOW DALLAS IS THE PLACE TO COME IF YOUR GOING TO PARTY. TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS. THIS IS KIND OF COOL, THIS TOP. YOU KNOW IT'S GREEN, I DON'T GET PINCHED, IT'S KIND OF A BAD THING. I'M NOT A LOT OF SKIN, I SEE A LOT OF WOMEN IN A LOT LESS SO I DON'T THINK IT'S THAT BAD. TELL THEM ABOUT THIS STREET. CAREFUL DON'T HURT HER. IT'S F# # KING AWESOME. -IT'S AMAZING LOOK AT THIS.

I'D LIKE TO AWARD YOU OUR BEST HAT OF THE YEAR AWARD. THANK YOU. HI MOM. I LOVE YOU I'D LIKE TO SEE WHAT PEOPLE ARE WEARING, WALK ME THROUGH THIS OUTFIT BECAUSE YOU LOOK HOT. THANK YOU. I HAVE MY MINISKIRT AND MY TOP THAT I GOT FROM (INDISCERNIBLE) NICE. CRAZY SHOES. -YES. WHAT DO WE THINK OF THE AMERICANS ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY WHAT'S YOUR IMPRESSION. CRAZY BASTARDS. AND NOT A THING ON YOU IS GREEN BUT WE DON'T CARE BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE HAS PLENTY OF GREEN ON RIGHT? I MEAN I MIGHT HAVE SOME GREEN BUT I CAN'T SHOW IT. -THANK YOU. (LAUGHS) WHAT'S THE STORY WITH WELL YOU KNOW EVERY NIGHT YOU GO OUT YOU BASICALLY GO TO EXPLORE DOING NEW THINGS, MEETING NEW PEOPLE AND WHEN YOU DO THAT YOU GOTTA BE IN THE MOOD FOR IT AND THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING RIGHT NOW. OKAY. I'M GOING OUT -YOU ARE AN EXPLORER I AM AN ADVENTURER, I AM MAPPING OUT THE TERRITORY. WELL I'M FROM NEW ENGLAND SO THIS IS, I'M A LITTLE SCARED HERE BECAUSE BOSTON DOES A ST. PATRICK'S DAY CELEBRATION AND IF I TALK TOO MUCH SMACK HERE, I AM GOING TO GET ALL SORTS OF EMAILS FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND PEOPLE WATCHING THE SHOW. SO I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL BUT BOSTON DOES DO A PRETTY GOOD CELEBRATION BUT YOU GUYS HAVE DONE WELL TODAY. HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF ADDING A PITH HELMET. YOU KNOW I'VE, IF ANYONE KNOWS A PLACE WHO SELLS A PITH HELMET I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW BECAUSE THAT WOULD JUST COMPLETE IT. YEAH GOOD LUCK MAN. YOU'RE A BRAVE MAN. DO THE ENGLISH DO THEY PARTY AS MUCH? NO. NO. NO. NOT AT ALL THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE IS THIS, THIS IS TYPICALLY WHERE ST. PATRICK'S DAY KIND OF WINDS DOWN YEAH PRETTY MUCH. DID YOU GO TO THE OTHER STUFF THE PARADE AND ALL THAT. WE DID. -SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING ALL DAY. OH YEAH I DRUNK BY 1 O'CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON. HOW COULD I FINISH THIS SHOW. WHAT SHOULD I SAY TO THEM? (LAUGHS) I'LL PUT IT ALL ON YOU. -OKAY WELL HOPE Y'ALL LIKE DALLAS, THIS IS IT. THANKS FOR WATCHING. -THANK YOU FOR WATCHING. (LAUGHS) OH SHOULD WE DO A PLUG FOR THE WEBSITE. I LOVE DOING THAT. -WHAT? WE SHOULD DO A PLUG FOR OUR WEBSITE. HEY GO TO ARTMANN.COM YOU CAN LEARN ABOUT WHERE WE ARE GOING TO BE AND SO FORTH. I LIKE THROWING THAT IN. WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF TIME RIGHT? BUT I LIKE TO END AND LEAVE PEOPLE SMILING RIGHT. (SCREAMS) I'M THINKING MAYBE YOU AND HER A LITTLE STREET DANCING? WHAT A GREAT WAY TO GO OUT. LET'S DO IT. STREET DANCING! (LAUGHS)

THERE IS A BEER RIVER. LET'S LOOK AT THE BEER RIVER.

RIGHT HERE. RIGHT HERE. -HE LIKES TO GET TOPPLED OVER. HE LOVES TO GET TOPPLED OVER. OH IT'S THIS ONE. NO. NO. NO. AND LOOK AT THE CREDITS THAT I ROLL. THE CREDITS ARE DOWN HERE LIKE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN. THOSE ARE ALL THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE THAT WORK ON OUR SHOW. -EXACTLY. SEE THEM ALL? -I SEE THEM. THERE ARE LIKE SIX OF THEM. (LAUGHS)