Art Mann Presents...

Episode Number: 216 - TV14

Episode Title: Hippies, Trucks & Testicles

Description: New age weirdness, big trucks and umm... testicles. You really have to watch to understand.

Transcript:

THIS WEEK HIPPIES, TRUCKS AND TESTICLES.

WELCOME TO THE SHOW YOU GUYS, ONCE AGAIN WE HAVE A GREAT ASSORTMENT OF ITEMS ON THE MENU. HIPPIES, TRUCKS AND TESTICLES. LATER IN THE SHOW WE'RE GOING TO GO TO A BIG TRUCK FESTIVAL, THEN AT THE END OF THE SHOW FOR DESSERT IF YOU WILL, WE'RE GOING TO MAKE YOU ABSOLUTELY SICK WITH SOME TESTICLES. IT'S NOT GOING TO BE GROSS, TIGHT SHOTS OF TESTICLES, IT WILL JUST BE PEOPLE EATING THEM SO DON'T WORRY. AND WE'RE GOING TO START OFF THE SHOW WITH HIPPIES.

WE'RE ABOUT A HALF HOUR OUTSIDE SANTA BARBARA, CALIFORNIA WE'RE AT A LITTLE EVENT CALLED LIGHTNING IN A BOTTLE A MAGICAL FOREST ADVENTURE. WHAT ARE MY THOUGHTS ON THAT, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS EVENT IS, NOT A FRIGGIN CLUE BUT THAT TITLE ALONE MADE ME WANT TO COME. I HAVE TO SEE WHAT A MAGICAL FOREST ADVENTURE IS. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE. LIKE WHAT THIS IS? WELL IT'S A WAY TO PEEL OFF THE LAYERS OF EVERYDAY LIFE EVERYDAY WE'RE IN HOUSES AND WE'RE STUCK IN THESE NORMAL TYPE OF SITUATIONS AND HERE WE COME, WE PUT ON WE LISTEN TO BEAUTIFUL MUSIC, WE GET OUT IN NATURE, MAYBE PUT ON A LITTLE COSTUME JUST TO MAKE IT A LITTLE BIT MORE FUN FOR EVERYBODY ELSE. AND THERE ARE NO RULES WITH THE COSTUME. GIMME A MODELING SHOT HERE ARLO, HEAD TO TOE. LOOK AT THAT (LAUGHS) (METAL CLANGS) GIVE US A QUICK IDEA OF WHAT WE'RE LOOKING AT? SURE UH IT'S A TRANSFORMER SO IT'S A STANDING MAN/ROBOT. BUT THE NOISES THAT YOUR GETTING OUT OF IT, YOU GUYS DECIDED NOT TO ADD ANYTHING ON THERE UNLESS IT MADE SOME KIND OF COOL NOISE RIGHT? WELL THESE ARE ALL MINITRIGGERS THAT ARE ON DIFFERENT PARTS OF IT'S BODY. SO IF YOU TOUCH DIFFERENT PARTS OF IT'S BODY IT WILL TRIGGER DIFFERENT SOUNDS. (LAUGHS)

DESCRIBE TO EVERYONE, LET'S GIVE THEM THE LAY OF THE LAND. THERE IS SOME CRAZY MUSIC GOING ON OVER THERE. YOU FOUND YOUR OWN SPACE TO EXPRESS YOURSELF. AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS NOW, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE HOOP WELL I'M PLAYING, I'M DOING THE BIGGEST PLAY I CAN. I TRY AND DO THINGS THAT I'M NOT EXPECTING TO DO. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THIS EVENT. WELL, I GUESS A FESTIVAL WOULD BE THE EASIEST WORD TO DESCRIBE IT. WE'RE AN EXCUSE FOR CREATIVE PEOPLE TO GATHER AND EXPRESS THEMSELVES. AM I REALLY GOING TO TRY THIS WITH YOU? YEAH FORWARD AND BACK GENTLE YES! LOOK AT YOU, YOU ARE THE NATURAL. (LAUGHS) I THINK THE DESCRIPTION THEY HAVE DOES IT SOME JUSTICE THOUGH. A MAGICAL ADVENTURE IN THE FOREST. THAT ABOUT SUMS IT UP. YEAH. YEAH WE LIKE TO KEEP IT OPEN SO THAT YOU CAN YOU KNOW STILL HAVE ROOM TO CREATE YOUR OWN VERSION OF WHATEVER IT IS. OH I GOTCHA. ARE YOU GOING TO DO TWO RIGHT NOW? OH PLEASE BE CAREFUL. NICE.

IT JUST ABOUT LIKE EXPRESSING YOURSELF RIGHT, JUST DOING. WELL FOR ONE THING, I MEAN EVEN THE WAY THAT THIS WAS FORMED IS AS A COLLECTIVE SO IN GENERAL THIS IS ABOUT BRINING LIKE- MINDED PEOPLE TOGETHER. YEAH I DIDN'T PLAN THIS AT ALL, AT ALL I WAS WEARING A SARONG AND THE SARONG CAME OFF AND I HAD MY UNDERWEAR ON AND A GIRL GAVE ME THIS. AND I FOUND THE ROPE, BUT I MEAN THAT FEELS FANTASTIC TO BE ABLE TO JUST SIT THERE LIKE THAT. ABSOLUTELY. I DON'T WANT TO BE AT THE TOP OF THE GAME, I WANT ALL OF YOU TO COME WITH ME. AND MAKE ART. WE'RE TAKING BEERS, NOT OPENED, WRAPPING IT IN PAPER AND THEN CLAY AND THEN MAKING A SCULPTURE AROUND IT AND THEN PLACING THEM DOWN AND IT'S CALLED HAPPY HOUR WITH PAKOWLSKI. IT'LL BE AN HOUR LONG. YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO CHARLES PAKOWLSKI AND BECOME A BAR FLY. WHAT THE HECK AM I LOOKING AT. IT LOOKS LIKE A COOLER VERSION OF THOSE THINGS TOOLING AROUND MANHATTAN. YEAH IT'S THE SUV VERSION. YES. YES AND YOUR ABOUT TO MAKE THAT THING HAVE SOME LIFE WITH THE LIGHTS. A LITTLE ELECTROLUMINESCENT LOVE MOSTLY.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED SINCE WE GOT HERE RIGHT, IS THAT THERE ARE NO RULES YOU CAN BASICALLY JUST DO OR WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT. IT'S TRUE. SO HOW DO YOU DECIDE? HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHAT TO GO WITH. UM, JUST GO WITH WHAT FEELS RIGHT. IF I WERE ON THE PHONE WITH YOU RIGHT NOW AND YOU WERE TO DESCRIBE THIS TO ME, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THIS EVENT. IT'S REALLY HARD TO DESCRIBE IN WORDS. BECAUSE IT IS SOMETHING THAT YOU JUST FEEL INSIDE. IT'S SOMETHING YOU JUST KNOW WHEN YOU'RE HERE. AND THE BEST THING ABOUT IT IS, IT'S ENERGY THAT LIKE, IT'S AS IF EVERYONE IS A LITTLE KID CAUSE YOU KNOW WHEN YOUR LITTLE AND YOU GO TO THE PLAYGROUND AND YOUR LIKE ON THE MONKEY BARS AND YOUR GOING DOWN THE SLIDE AND YOUR HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME. YOU KNOW AND YOU MIGHT YEAH YEAH MAN. YOU MIGHT LIKE KICK SAND IN SOMEONE'S FACE AND THEY'RE LIKE GRR. AND THEN 5 MINUTES LATER THEY FORGET ABOUT IT AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOUR GOING DOWN THE SLIDE TOGETHER AND THAT'S WHAT THIS PLACE IS ABOUT TO ME. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING OUT OF THIS? IT WAS CREATED BY TWO REALLY AMAZING TWINS FROM THE DOOLAB THAT ARE JUST COMPLETELY 100% YOU KNOW CREATIVE SOULS IN THIS UNIVERSE. THAT'S ME SCORCHING UNDISCOVERED LANDS. SMALL POX, THE DEAD VIRUS STOLEN IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT AND SOLD IN DEAD SILENCE. HMM IN THE MORNING WHEN THE ALARM IS ON, IT'S LIKE CLOSING THE BARN DOORS ARE GONE, EVERYBODY IS A F# # KING VECTOR ESPECIALLY THE INSPECTOR GOES DOOR TO DOOR TO CHECK A OH-HMMM WHAT DO YOU DO IN YOUR NORMAL LIVES. I COOK. TEACH. IN YOUR LIFE TELL ME WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT? I THINK YOUR FIRST THING IS TRYING TO UNDERSTAND IT. YOU SHOULD LET GO. I CAME INTO THIS THING KIND OF CLUELESS TO THIS WHOLE WORLD, HOW DO YOU LEARN THAT THIS EXISTS? LIKE HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU COULD COME TO AN EVENT LIKE THIS. CHARLIE TAUGHT US. FRIENDS, WORD OF MOUTH KIND OF THING. TELL ME ABOUT THIS, WHAT CAN SOMEONE EXPECT WHEN THEY COME AND TRY TO EXPERIENCE THIS THING WITH YOU. (LAUGHS) WELL IT'S MY FIRST TIME EXPERIENCING IT. IS IT REALLY? YOU FIT RIGHT IN, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS. I KNOW IT'S FUNNY TODAY I WAS WALKING AROUND NAKED. WITH THIS BUT TELL THEM WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE CAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULDN'T HAVE THE GUTS TO DO THAT. TELL THEM WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE. IT FEELS GREAT, IT FEELS INVIGORATING. FREE? AND UM, YEAH ENLIGHTENING. YOU KNOW THE DICTIONARY DEFINES A HIPPIE AS A PERSON THAT REJECTS HE ESTABLISHED CULTURE. THOSE GUYS QUALIFY BUT I WANT TO THANK THEM FOR LETTING US INTRUDE WITH THAT CAMERA. WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK. OH, PROP, LOVE PROPS. TRUCKS COMING UP AFTER THE BREAK. OH YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET A PROP THAT WORKS. I'M SURE ON THOSE OTHER SHOWS THEY HAVE PROPS THAT WORK.

WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW YOU GUYS, I HOPE YOUR ENJOYING HIPPIES, TRUCKS, AND TESTICLES. I KNOW YOUR EXCITED TO GET TO THOSE TESTICLES BUT CALM DOWN, IT'S ALMOST THERE. IT'S TIME FOR THE TRUCKS. WE'RE GOING TO A LITTLE THING CALLED TRUCK JAM. IT'S CALIFORNIA'S PREMIER TRUCK EVENT, ALL THINGS TRUCK ARE THERE. TAKE A LOOK. SO YOU SAY UH, YOU WANT A BIG DOG HUH, YOU THINK YOUR READY FOR A BIG DOG, I FOUND IT. TAKE A LOOK. EITHER I'M REALLY SMALL OR THAT THING IS REALLY TALL. IT'S SICK, LOOK AT THIS DETAIL BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, IF YOU NOTICE WITH THESE TRUCKS, IT'S ALL ABOUT HOW MANY MONITORS YOU CAN CRAM IN HERE. TAKE A LOOK AT THESE HEADRESTS, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN SEE IT. THERE ARE MONITORS IN THE DOORS. THERE IS ONE RIGHT THERE BY YOUR ELBOW BUDDY, JUST WHERE I AM I CAN SEE 13 MONITORS. AND I KNOW THERE ARE MORE THAN THAT. THIS IS THE PIMP RIDE, RIGHT HERE. I HOPE THAT READS. THAT PROBABLY READS IN THAT HIGH DEF GORGEOUS. THAT IS SICK AND TAKE A LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THESE MONITORS. LOOK AT THIS. WHAT'S THAT A 22 INCH. BASICALLY I AM IMMATURE AS HELL IF YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED THAT OUT. AND THIS KIND OF STUFF, MY HEART'S BEATING RIGHT NOW. I LOVE BURN OUTS. OH YOU LIKE THIS ARLO? YEAH, ARLO IS GIVING IT THE THUMBS UP. THIS GUY IS ABOUT TO DO A BURN OUT WITH THESE EXPENSIVE TIRES, WHAT'S UP?

WHAT'S YOUR SECRET? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO OUT THERE TO WIN THIS CROWD OVER. WHATEVER I CAN. IT'S ALL UP TO THE PEOPLE. JUST LAY ON IT? YEAH KEEP GOING TILL I CAN'T STOP.

SEE ANYONE GOING DOWN ON THE RIM OR ANYTHING TODAY. IF I CAN I'LL POP MY TIRES. NICE.

(CHEERS) HOW DO WE GET A GOOD BURN OUT, WHAT'S THE TECHNIQUE? KEEP IT IN LOW GEAR AND KEEP YOUR FOOT ON THE GAS AND DON'T LET GO. ARE WE PEELING AWAY SOME EXPENSIVE RUBBER HERE TODAY? VERY EXPENSIVE RUBBER. YOU PRACTICED THIS YOU KNOW SUPERMARKET PARKING LOTS ETC. TRY TO. WHEREVER I CAN WHERE I DON'T GET IN TROUBLE.

DUDE YOU SEE THE BIG DOG THAT JUST PULLED IN THE LOT? YEAH I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO WIN IT BUT I GUESS NOT ANYMORE IF HE CAN DO IT. HE'LL GET SOME CROWD SUPPORT WITH THAT THING. SO TELL ME ABOUT THE BURN OUT YOUR GONNA DO. OH MAN I'M GONNA SMOKE THOSE TIRES OFF THE RIM. (LAUGHS) LOOK HOW HIGH THIS THING IS, NOW CAN THIS THING, IS THIS CAPABLE, THIS TRUCK IS CAPABLE OF ACTUALLY BREAKING THOSE FREE? I HOPE SO. WE'LL FIND OUT IN A COUPLE MINUTES I GUESS, HOPE SO.

GIMME THE TECHNIQUE, SOMEONE WATCHING AT HOME AND THEY HAVE A TRUCK THEY WANT TO GET THOSE REAR TIRES LOOSE, WHAT IS THE TECHNIQUE? JUST UH POWER BRAKE SIT ON THE BREAK AND THEN STAND ON THE GAS AND GO FOR IT MAN.

(BLARES HORN)

WHAT'S THE TECHNIQUE WHEN YOU PULL UP TO THE LINE WHAT DO YOU DO? WELL TO BE HONEST WITH YOU I'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. ALL I KNOW IS THAT OFF ROAD AND IN THE RAIN IT'S HARD TO KEEP THIS THING IN A STRAIGHT LINE. SO, I REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY DOUBTS IN HOW IT'S GOING TO PERFORM.

DUDE IS ANYONE WORRIED ABOUT THIS PAINT AT ALL, THIS PAINT IS BEAUTIFUL. WE GOT WE CAN FIX IT ANYTIME YOU KNOW. THAT'S WHY WE HAVE THEM FOR SHOW. BURN RUBBER.

WHAT UP DUDE, HOW DO YOU GET OUT OF THERE. IT SEEMS DANGEROUS WHAT I'M DOING RIGHT NOW. IS THIS DANGEROUS? IT'S NOT TOO DANGEROUS YOU KNOW

THIS TRUCK RIGHT HERE IS THE WHOLE REASON PEOPLE LOVE TRUCKING AND TRUCKS AND BIG TIRES. YEAH IT'S PRETTY AWESOME DEAL, WE COME OUT HERE TO THIS TRUCK JAM WHICH IS A HUGE EVENT OUT HERE IN CALIFORNIA

CARS PEOPLE PRETTY MUCH DON'T WANT ANYMORE WE HAMMER EM DOWN AND YOU KNOW PRETTY MUCH MAKE MUSH OUT OF THEM. GIMME THE STATS REAL QUICK ON THIS MACHINE. THAT'S A 523 LAMBERT ENTERPRISE CHEVY. WE GOT UH, FIRESTONE TIRES GIMME SOME SPECIFICS LIKE HOW MUCH. I WANT TO BUY ONE OF THESE, WHAT AM I SPENDING? ABOUT 2500 GETS YOU A FIRESTONE TIRE. OBVIOUSLY THE FIBERGLASS BODY WORKSHOCKER.COM ON THERE AND TRUCK WEIGHTS AROUND 11,000 POUNDS DEFINITELY A HEAVY HITTER WHEN IT COMES TO RACING. TELL ME ABOUT UH, CAUSE I'M LOOKIN AT THE CRUSHED PILE OF CARS. HERE YOU ARE, YOU'RE A MONSTER TRUCK DRIVER, YOUR COMING UP TO THOSE TIRES, I MEAN COMING UP TO THOSE CARS. WHAT IS THAT TECHNIQUE? THERE IS NOT MUCH BREAK, YOUR JUST ROLLING UP TO IT YEAH PRETTY MUCH ROLL INTO THEM YOU KNOW AND THEN HIT THE THROTTLE YOU KNOW SET YOU UP HOW YOU WANT TO GO IN THE AIR YOU KNOW IF YOU ROLL UP TO A CAR REAL SLOW AND WHACK ON THE THROTTLE AND IT'LL GET THE LIKE IT BITES INTO THE CAR AND THEN SHOOTS YOU. IT KIND OF SHOOTS THE FRONT END UP WHAT'S THE MPG ON THIS. IT'S ACTUALLY GALLONS PER MILE. IS IT TRULY BECAUSE EVERYONE ALWAYS SAYS THAT. YES. IN THIS CASE IT IS. YEAH. WE COULD DO A WHOLE SHOW ON WHAT IS INVOLVED HERE WITH THE SUSPENSION, EVERYTHING. I MEAN YOU TAKE A LOT OF IT FOR GRANTED AT THIS POINT RIGHT? RIGHT , YEAH I'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR LIKE 16 YEARS. THIS IS LIKE ONE OF THOSE SEXY SHOTS WE USED TO DO ALL THE TIME WITH BROOKE, ISN'T IT? THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS I'M NOT HOT AND THE OTHER DIFFERENCE IS SHE WOULD NEVER SAY THIS. MORE TESTICLES RIGHT AFTER THE BREAK.

ALL RIGHT DID YOU ENJOY THE TRUCKS? TRUCKS ARE COOL BUT YOU CAN'T JUST DO A WHOLE SHOW ABOUT TRUCKS. SO AS PROMISED EARLIER IN THE SHOW, ITS TIME I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SHOW SOMETIMES. IT'S TIME FOR THE TESTICLES GO AHEAD ROLL THE TESTICLES.

WE ARE IN MONTANA, IT'S RAINING BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. IT WOULD TAKE MORE THAN A LITTLE WATER TO KEEP THESE BALL EATING FOOLS AWAY. C'MON LET'S FIND A PLACE TO PARK AND CHECK THIS THING OUT. THAT'S IT RIGHT OVER THERE. I CAN SEE THE FESTIVAL AND FROM HERE, I THINK I'M SMELLING THE TESTICLES A LITTLE BIT. THERE IS A SLIGHT UH JUST SMELLS LIKE COOKING MAYBE SOME BATTER I'M SMELLING. ALMOST LIKE, LIKE A FRIED CHICKEN STRIP OR SOMETHING. THAT'S WHAT I'M GETTING FROM HERE. LET'S GO IN CLOSER. C'MON. TELL ME ABOUT THIS FESTIVAL BECAUSE I HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT THE TESTICLE FESTIVAL. THE TESTICLE FESTIVAL YOU KNOW WHAT FROM WHAT I TAKE IT IT'S JUST WHERE THEY SELL BALLS BUT YOU HAVE A BALL. RIGHT? YEAH THAT'S ABOUT HOW IT IS. IT'S NOT ABOUT SITTING BACK AND EATING TESTICLES, WHAT IS IT? WELL IF IT WAS ABOUT SITTING BACK AND EATING TESTICLES WE PROBABLY WOULDN'T MOVE MANY UNITS. THE TESTICLES ARE A SMALL PART OF IT. NO. THAT'S THE SMALLEST PART AND THEN THERE'S THE MUSIC AND THEN YOU KNOW THERE IS ALL THE DRINKING. DRINKING IS A HUGE PART. BASICALLY WHAT WE HAVE IS, WE HAVE A VENUE WHERE EVERY DIFFERENT WALK OF LIFE CAN COME TOGETHER PARTY AND HAVE A GREAT TIME. WHERE YOU FROM DUDE WALLIS, IDAHO. NICE. REPRESENT. HE'S FROM WALLACE. I WAS EXPECTING TO SEE ALL SORTS OF VARIOUS TESTICLES PREPARED DIFFERENT WAYS. THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT IS IT? NO. NOT AT ALL. WHAT WE'VE DONE IS WE TAKE THE TESTICLE, WE SLICE IT THIN, WE BREAD IT AND WE DEEP FRY IT. IT'S PRETTY GOOD. I'M ASSUMING YOU'VE HAD ONE. ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY THE COW BALLS WERE GOOD, BUT. YOU ATE SOME? YEAH F# # K YEAH LAST NIGHT. LAST NIGHT WHEN I GOT HERE. GIMME A LITTLE FEEDBACK ON THE FLAVOR RIGHT THERE. TASTES LIKE CHICKEN. THIS IS ALL YOU GET, ALL YOU GET, IT'S A SNEAK PREVIEW. TELL ME WHAT' GOING TO HAPPEN TONIGHT. TELL ME WHAT'S THE SCHEDULE. I'M THINKING SEX, DRUGS, AND ROCK AND ROLL AND BALLS. AND LOTS OF BALLS, AND SEX, BALL SEX. AND BOOBS, LOST OF BOOBS. THROW IN SOME TESTICLES OH MY GOD AND BOOBS. THAT'S A NUT RIGHT THERE. YES IT IS. I WANNA SEE, LET'S GET A LIVE LITTLE SHOT OF YOU EATING THAT THING. AND THEN WE'LL GET SOME. GET SOME SAUCE ON THERE. ALL OF IT. LOOK AT THAT. (LAUGHS) SMALL PLATE, MEAL OR JUST, THE MEAL COCK SAUCE WITH THE BALLS. COCK SAUCE COCK SAUCE WITH THE BALLS. WHAT'S IT TASTE LIKE? BETTER THAN CHICKEN STRIPS. WELL BUT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THEM JUST HANGING THERE ON THE BULL OR WHEREVER THEY GET THEM. NO. SO HAVE YOU TRIED THE TESTICLES YET? I HAVE. A COUPLE YEARS AGO. YOU KNOW THEY'RE A LITTLE SPONGY RIGHT. NOT REALLY THAT GREAT, MAKE YOU KIND OF SICK BUT WORTH TRYING ONCE. LIKE CHEWY. IT'S LIKE A CHICKEN NUGGET BUT MORE SPONGY AND A LITTLE MORE GRISTLE. IT'S ALSO A BALL. IT'S ALSO A NUT, EXACTLY. BUT THEY DO LIKE POUND EM OUT AND PUT THEM IN CHICKEN NUGGET FORM WHICH MAKES YOU, MAKES IT A LITTLE BIT BETTER. I HAVEN'T TIRED ONE. WHICH WAY SHOULD I TRY IT. COCK AND BALLS, YOU GOTTA DO IT WITH COCKTAIL SAUCE. HOW MANY YEARS YOU BEEN COMING DOWN TO THIS THING. THIS IS MY FIRST. IS IT? MY FIRST WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO SEE. LITTLE BIT OF THIS, LITTLE BIT OF THAT, BOOBS. WHAT'S GOING ON? OH WE'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME. I JUST GOT REALLY ROYALLY F# # KED IT WAS REALLY HOT. YOU DID? YEAH (LAUGHS) HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? WELL I JUST WENT BACK TO THE SILVER BULLET AND GOT IT ON. IT WAS REALLY HOT (LAUGHS) HAVE WE EATEN THE BALLS BEFORE? I HAD THE BALLS LAST NIGHT THEY WERE NOT BAD. YOU KNOW I THOUGHT I WAS EATING CHICKEN STRIPS BUT IT WAS F# # # KN DELICIOUS. OOPS. HERE'S THE DEAL, YOUR JUMPING INTO THIS LINE TO GET SOME BALLS RIGHT? YOU WANT SOME BALLS? I GOT BALLS ALREADY AND THEY WEREN'T DEEP FRIED. (LAUGHS) WHAT DID THEY TASTE LIKE? LIKE A CHICKEN STRIP TELL ME ABOUT THAT FLAVOR. IT'S TASTES, IT'S BETTER THAN CHICKEN STRIPS. YOU WANT A NUT? NO, NOT YET. I'M NOT READY YET. YOU GUYS TALK TO ME. TELL ME ABOUT THE TESTICLE FESTIVAL. AWESOME, GOTTA COME DOWN EVERY YEAR MAN, IT'S SWEET. (CHEERS) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE, WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE LITTLE STAGE OVER THERE RIGHT NOW? I JUST SAW A GUYS PENIS. (LAUGHS) UH OH MY GOD. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU DO WITH THAT. (CHEERS)

ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S YOUR NAME? JENNIFER. HELLO JENNIFER. WHAT DO YOU HAVE THERE IN THE LITTLE CUPS? OH WE HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHING, PUCKERS, I HAVE (INDISCERNIBLE) KIND OF RUNNING LOW RIGHT NOW SO. (CHEERS)

I WANT TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING WHEN I HEARD ABOUT THIS THING THE TESTICLE FESTIVAL, I THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE LIKE, TESTICLES PREPARED DIFFERENT WAYS MAYBE SOME FRIED, MAYBE A LITTLE TESTICLE SALAD, RIGHT. TESTICLE MILKSHAKE. IT'S NOT REALLY ABOUT THE TESTICLES IS IT? NO. NOT REALLY. IT'S ABOUT A LOT OF NUDITY AND PARTYING YOUR ASSES OFF. YOU CAN SEE THE BALLS ARE CUT THIN, THEY'RE BREADED AND THEY'RE DEEP FRIED. RIGHT. THANK YOU CAN I GET A FORK. BALLS ARE NOT FINGER FOOD? WELL IT ALL DEPENDS. IT'S YOU NEVER GET OLD, JUST PLAYING AROUND. I TRY NOT TO FINGER THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. THANK YOU ALL RIGHT, ENI-MINI-MINY-MO LOOKS LIKE IT'S KIND OF WARM BUT GO AHEAD. IS IT WARM? OR NO? SEE SO INSIDE THAT TAKE A LOOK AT THAT, INSIDE THERE IS A FLATTENED WHERE DOES THIS COME FROM? IT'S A BULL? IT'S A BULL. OH MAN, WELL IT'S NOT A BULL CURRENTLY. IT WAS A BULL ONCE. BUT IT'S A BULL NUT RIGHT THERE, FLATTENED AND NOW I'M GOING TO EAT IT. I'VE NEVER EATEN ONE OF THESE BUT SOMEONE TOLD ME THERE IS A VEIN IN THERE. NAH THERE IS NO VEIN IN THERE, THEY'RE LYING TO YOU. I'M JUST PICTURING, I THINK MY MEMORY IS, MY IMAGINATION IS TOO VIVID LIKE I'M SEEING JUST THAT BALLS HANGING THERE I TELL YOU WHAT TAKE HER DOWN. ALL RIGHT. I'M SURE YOU'VE USED THAT LINE OR TWO A DAY THROUGH YOUR DAY.

IT'S GOOD HUH? IT'S NOT BAD. IT'S LIKE FRIED PORK CHOP. WHAT'S THAT LIKE TOUGH THING I'M CHEWING THROUGH. WHAT IS THAT? UH, WE DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. I WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT THAT. I GOTTA BE HONEST WITH YOU, IF YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT IT TOO MUCH IT'S PRETTY TASTY. IT'S ALL ABOUT JUST NOT THINKING ABOUT IT HANGING THERE IN THE FIELD AND JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS IS YUMMY PIECE OF FRIED GOODNESS.

WHAT'S UP HOSS? CAN I HAVE ONE OF YOUR BALLS? ALL RIGHT (LAUGHS) RIGHT ON LET ME SEE WHAT YOU THINK THERE. OH YOU JUST TORE INTO THAT BAD BOY. I HAVE TO, I GOT FALSE TEETH (LAUGHS) I THINK THEY'RE GREAT. I THINK THEY'RE GREAT. I'VE HAD BEEF AND PORK AND I GOT TO SAY I THINK THE PORK BALLS ARE A LITTLE BIT BETTER THAN THE BEEF. SO THESE ARE BEEF BALLS? I KNOW. IT'S LIKE CHICKEN FRIED STEAK.

ANYBODY TRY ANY BALLS YET? ABSOLUTELY HOW WERE THEY? HEY NOTHING BEATS A GOOD BALL MAN. NO WE LIMIT IT TO JUST THIS MONTH OF THE YEAR. YOU KNOW I'M TRYING TO KEEP IT JUST TO THIS DAY YOU KNOW CAN WE JUST BE A LITTLE HONEST, THEY'RE NOT THAT TASTY ARE THEY? I DON'T KNOW I HAVEN'T HAD ONE, I'M ABOUT TO GO GET ONE. NO, THERE NOT. THEY TASTE LIKE SHIT. BUT YOU GOTTA EAT ONE. YOU GOTTA EAT ONE. LISTEN TO ME. ONE NUT EVERY BODY NEEDS ONE NUT. PLEASE TELL EVERYONE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO COME UP HERE TO THE TESTICLE FESTIVAL. WELL ACTUALLY WE'RE FROM CALIFORNIA AND WE DROVE HERE 18 HOURS. WOW. SAY HELLO TO THE JOHN MADDEN OF BASIC CABLE, RIGHT HERE. THIS ART MANN I SAW HIM FROM A MILE AWAY. WHAT IS THIS GUY HOLDING? LOOK AT THAT. THAT'S A SPRING.

DING DONG IS LOOSE MAN, I CAN'T GIVE HIM AWAY THOUGH.

WE WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE BALLS AT THE TESTICLE FESTIVAL. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH GAS IS COSTING THESE DAYS. LIKE 750 BUCKS JUST TO GET HERE THE PRICE OF GAS IS NOT WORTH AS MUCH BALLS AS WE'VE SEEN. WE HAVE NOT SEEN ENOUGH BALLS.

ARE YOU GOING TO EAT SOME BALLS BEFORE YOU LEAVE? THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO NEXT. WE WERE IN LINE BUT THESE GUYS WERE ANNOYING US AND THEY WERE TRYING TO TELL US THAT IS HER PLEDGE BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOU ALL ARE EATING BALLS. HOPEFULLY. THE NIGHT IS YOUNG. YOU'VE HAD BALLS BEFORE? YES. I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE. ART MANN IN MONTANA WHOO NICE. WHAT'S UP? (LAUGHS) THANKS YOU GUYS. THERE IT IS, I PROMISED, HIPPIES, TRUCKS AND TESTICLES. I DELIVERED. SEE YOU GUYS NEXT WEEK. IF YOU KNOW OF ANY WEIRD EVENT FOR EXAMPLE IF PEOPLE ARE EATING TESTICLES. THEN FEEL FREE TO EMAIL US RIGHT THERE AT ART@ARTMANN.COM. SEE YOU GUYS NEXT WEEK! WHAT? YOU WANT SOME TESTICLES? YOU LOOK HUNGRY. I'M HANGING RIGHT NOW.

I SEE THAT THIS HOST OVER HERE HAS AN UMBRELLA PERSON, LIKE AN ACTUAL PERSON HOLDING AN UMBRELLA. I DON'T HAVE THAT. WE HAVE A SECOND CAMERA AND SOMETIMES ARLO, YOU KNOW ARLO DOES THE STILLS. HE'S GOT THE SECOND HIGH DEF CAM. AND THEN GLEN YOU GUYS KNOW STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT GLEN DOES BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS IF I DON'T HAVE AN UMBRELLA PERSON. AND I'M A LITTLE, I'M A LITTLE PISSED. I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT REALLY ELSE TO SAY. WE DO HAVE GLEN. AND THE COOL PART ABOUT GLEN. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M HOPING GLEN. I'M HOPING THAT CAUSE I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN HELPING US. WE GIVE YOU THE ASSOCIATE PRODUCER TITLE AND WHAT I'M THINKING IS SOME DAY, THE SHOW GETS REALLY BIG MAYBE WE CAN GET AN ACTUAL ASSOCIATE PRODUCER AND THEN WE CAN HAVE YOU DO SOMETHING ELSE. YES, I HOLD THE UMBRELLA.