Art Mann Presents...

Episode Number: 207 - TV14

Episode Title: Turtles, Porn Stars, and Waffles

Description: We show you the perfect ingredients for an entertaining evening. This is a combo that you could only find in Southern California.

Transcript:

Check this out. It is Art Mann Presents the name of our show. This episode is called watch this, Turtles, Porn Stars, Porn stars? And Waffles. Art's theme music Those turtles have their own mind. They have heart. They have glory. C'mon let's go inside and watch the turtles race. We're in Marina Del Ray and this is a pleasant surprise, you guys are going to be shocked that this thing even exists. C'mon let's go inside. It is Brennan's Pub.

Turtle racing is so sic bruther. They're are turtles, they are racing, there is a bunch of chicks bending over and getting their skirts lifted up. Turtle racing, it's crazy. It's turtle time my friend.

All right, gimme the scoop on this thing. What is the deal. Turtle racing has been here at Brennan's for the last 30 years, believe it or not, every Thursday night we get college kids, we get people of all ages. Who is here for some turtle racing? Will it attract beautiful women with this sport. Brennan's is packed. Turtle racing brings out the loveliest ladies. Gimme the rules on this. How does a turtle race work? Ah, three basic rules, one there is not pointing allowed. It scares the turtle. The turtle, the snake is it's natural enemy so it scares the turtle, we don't like people walking around during the races it scares the turtle. If you turtle is losing we don't want you to point on purpose, don't be a sore loser and there is a fourth rule but we can't reveal that rule until once the race starts. You loving this? I'm excited. Yeah when they got the turtle they gotta grab it and they can't bend their legs. So when they put it down, they have to you know. Oh is that the secret rule that he wouldn't tell us about. Yeah.

Whooohooo I think that was a little too fast. Yeah your right.

(yelling and screaming) From cinco. Cinco, quarto, tres, dos, uno

It crossed the line. Tell them what it feels like to win. Let me tell you, showing my ass and winning, double. Double the fun, I loved it. I got a f# # # kn rubber duckie. Wait, wait, wait. I love the F bombs. You love the F bombs. I'm from Miami, so F bombs. Look at my rubber duckie. Now first of all, we got to tell people that they can watch the turtle racing on the internet. Is that true? That's true. We do have a web site, just go to www.turtleracing.com. What kind of turtles are we running tonight. These are red eared sliders. If you look at their ears, right behind their ears, they each have looks like red paint marks. Do turtles make any kind of noise? Uh, actually no they don't. Turtles are actually deaf so all this crowd noise, music, they never hear it.

(yelling and screaming)

Don't be afraid.

3, 2, 1 And they're off.

(yelling and screaming)

Emma, Emma don't go away. You won a prize.

It is our second set of tampons, Playtex tampons. Tell them where your from. I'm from Sweden, Melba. Now do you have turtle racing in Sweden. No we don't this is the first time I have ever been in a turtle race actually. Tell them what you think of it, tell them It's pretty cool. I love Brennan's always liked bands and stuff so You know you all are crazy. This is my girlfriend Miranda Your racing sweetie. Oh nice. Do you have anything like this in Sweden. No, we don't. Turtle racing. No. Nothing like that. Tell them, tell everybody what you think of this, of the turtle races. It's sexy. It's sexy? It's sexy Well, what is sexy about the turtles? Not the turtles but da girls, look at the girls. Oh, the bending over The bending over. Are you the one, is she the one we keep seeing with the kissing? Yeah. That's you? That's me. I'm pro kissing by the way. That is my stance on that. If Emma wins, there gonna be a lot of kissing tonight. Nice. She likes to kiss. She is a bad girl right there. She's a bad girl? We all bad girls in Sweden. Are you? Yeah we're all. She's a bad girl too. She just don't want to admit it. No. We all bad girls in Sweden. I have a question for you and I'm sure you guys get this a lot. Is every women in Sweden just sexy like crazy hot? They look like us, you decide. Yeah Oh my God. They all like us. That's crazy. Scandinavia, there is something about it. Enjoy the turtle racing my friends. Thank you so much. Ladies and gentleman that concludes the turtle racing at Brennan's this evening, please join us next week for week 1565. It's a great place to hang out you know. It's a great place to hand out. You come to Los Angeles. Tell them about the turtle racing right now. Oh my God. Hey, turtle racing is so sic bruther. These guys have figured out how to make turtle racing sexy. You know Is that genius? Not only is that genius but there is no where else in the world that can figure out something that intelligent.

What do you mean, what happened? My turtle didn't win at all. The only reason why I came here is because of the turtle race. Right. Like I heard about Brennan's I was like I need to go to L.A. There are a lot of love coming from you guys. We are loving life. This is my roommate and she have never slept in my room. Oh a little peak inside. We're taking a quick break, we did the turtles, what is coming up after the break? Porn stars. Thank you. Your welcome. We'll be right back. we'll be back with Art More Art Mann Mann Presents. Presents. Adios. A-di-os

Welcome back to the show. We had in the first part of the show, we had turtles, now it is time for the porn stars. It is porn star karaoke here at Sardo's in Burbank and trust me you haven't seen anything like this. Let's wander around. porn star, porn star yeah I'm going for CLK Mercedes Benz 2006 f# # # kn A 2006 20 inch rims, call it glitz

What was that? A little mic work there. I love porn stars. That is the most erotic boob signing I've every had. Porn karaoke.

Tell me and them what goes on on Tuesday night. Does it get crazy in there. It does get crazy at some point. There is a lot of us porn people around so of course it is always going to get crazy. I don't think anyone wants to see my butt. Uh, Glen wanted me to ask you What do you want to ask me? A very important questions, he was just wondering if your cold? Why are my nipples hard. (Glen) Mine are too. It makes you want to go did a lida la. You're a mouse you dirty little boy. Bad boy, bad boy. I'm not little baby. He is bad, can you spank him please? (spits) Owwwwwww. My name is John West, I'm here with the lovely miss Felicia Ann. Your still going by Felicia Ann. Sometimes she changes her name. You know I change it. Cinnamon, yeah exactly. Cinnamon Love, Hi, how's it going. Okay Sardo's porn karaoke, so were having some drinks, singing songs. All right you guys talk to me about this karaoke, who is the singer, in this group. Um, in the shower as always. Yeah I like singing karaoke. She sang a song today. I'm singing more tonight. Right. Do you know anything about how this got started? How you guys decided let's just do this on Tuesday night. As far as the starting the porn karaoke. Uh, That would be a Wankus question. I believe, I think we owe it to Wankus, yeah. I believe it was something, KSEX radio is right near by and as far as I remember it was like one of those things Wankus and a bunch of other people, they would come over here after the show. Tell me about your last film, what went on in there? Um, see I was working with Roxy Giselle, and it was for Hustler video, Rick Davis, Dale Jordan, um we just it was a good scene, I hadn't had sex in about 3 days. We take care of each other, make sure we all take our enemas before we do anal scenes and you know take our tests. The usual.

That was the best information we have received in a long time. Are you serious? We do an awards show every year you might have just gotten nominated on that. Cool!

Well those are words of wisdom right there. I see Take your enema before your anal sex. Absolutely. We're talking about this karaoke because you can't go anywhere, people are talking about this everywhere. And I can't sing for s# it, so. I just make an appearance, say hi to everybody. So nights like tonight is cool because at least you know that your hanging out with people that you know and then also like you get accustomed to having sex with people in the business that you know are clean and they are tested and you know it is safer for me to like There is no way in hell I'm picking up some guy in a bar that I don't know is tested. Got a story for us? Oh, I had a dildo about that long and about that wide in my ass. Eww, was this on purpose? And I squirted on it. (laughing) Where was this going down? It was intentional. This is a movie today? Uh-huh. What was the, gimme the plot of the film today. It was um, pouring honey on my ass and all over my body. What would it take to be a good porn director for our (indiscernible) As long as you get you know the pink shot. Did you get that? The pink shot. You see on this show a lot of times we'll do a PG13 version that airs earlier in the night and then we do an R version that airs later. For all the kids who watch during the day. Do like this for me, wave. You know who we are waving good bye to? The PG 13 version. I don't think we're going to even gonna come out. You know who we are waving to? No. It's the PG13 version Oh, okay. We just crossed into R land. I think we are in like XXX. I think you might be right. Yeah.

I hate to blow this, then you get all sorts of angry emails saying dude why did you walk in while that was going on. You wanted to join it just looked so hot and sexy. You're very, uh, sensual there. Well, thank you. Now do you guys, you going to sing the karaoke. I don't sing. Na, na, na. I come to support those who sing. Yeah glass is kind of hard to clean up, so. Exactly. That's why I don't sing. We gotta get another guys perspective on this, now tell us what you do for a living. Porno? Yeah, right. With girls like her and a couple other girls right in there. The world famous T Real is making sure that the breast are plump. Yeah but you gotta read the shirt. Kiss the girls. Arlo wouldn't mind jumping in though. Whooo Been a little while. (laughs) Go ahead Arlo jump in there. Here comes Arlo. (laughing)

Okay enough. Oh excuse me, oh. Now this would be interesting to me because you do for a living you do something that is very, it takes a lot of guts. Uh-huh. Do you get, do you think you might get nervous doing that. You don't get nervous doing that? F# # k no. Thank you. Do you get nervous going on the stage singing the songs? Yes. Isn't that interesting? It is weird, I get scared going on stage singing a song but I'm comfortable f# # # ing in front of a camera.

Nice to see you there. How's it going? Good man. Oh, look wait, wait. Be careful. I just make mic Jewish, get it? Take away the foreskin. that was a Jewish reference. Cause I happen to be aaaaachew. We have a Jewish cameraman on this show. This thing on? Okay. Nice to see you. Are you circumcised? But he should tuck it in, this is a public place. What's up now? Ohhh check it out. You want to be alone with that mic? Look it, did you see what she just did? We had a last year, we had a category of uh best use of a microphone and I don't know if you got any audio on this but best use of a microphone right there. I want to talk about this karaoke, it is out of control. I didn't know this existed. This is not a one time event I keep telling them at home. I brought celebrities here. You know just for the fun. They all love it here. I brought Richard Dryfuss once. I brought Mickey Roarke here. I brought Flavor Flav here. Oh Flav probably loved it. Yeah I brought a lot of interesting people here. Tonight I brought just my buddies you know. Look right over here, Spencer cuts the show together. Spencer comes out tonight to see what's going on. This is going to cut well. Is this all right? I don't know if this will edit well. So this is going to edit good? We need to get in here with a camera you need to see some of this close up.

Oh, very nice. (laughing) Is that better Spence? Thank you. Isn't it funny that uh, staffers that we never see suddenly show up tonight? A few adult stars and a few rock n roll stars and a few rap stars and big TV stars and you put them all together and a little singing and drinking, it is bound to get a little nasty. OH, yeah. This is your other job, right? This is my other job, it is a very different attire then when I work for the editing. And we have to give you credit on this. We didn't to anything. You see there is there things on this show. You've got the turtles, the porn stars, and the waffles. Uh-huh. We set up the turtles and the waffles, this one brought the porn stars to the table. I brought the porn stars. End on this, give me some Ron Jeremy stats please, how many sex scenes have you done? I think I have the world's record, me and Tom Byron hold the world's record uh, we, both at around 1800-1900 movies. I have to admit, my very first porn ever was uh, a cheerleading porn and I thought it was really funny because I was a cheerleader in high school so I got a cheerleading porn, it was something like the 80s and he was in it but he doesn't know that, so. I don't want him to know that he was like the first penis I ever say, you know live. Shhh. Don't. You know Ron, Cat who works on our show, she said that your penis was the first one she ever saw. That's very flattering, I thank you. What should we do? We go inside there, maybe get them singing some public domain songs so we can use them. She'll be comin round the mountain right? Oh, all right. That's the most erotic boob signing I have ever had, let me tell you.

All right I'm looking for Alana and Alex. Alana and Alex are going to do a duet. Put your hands together it's 5 minutes and 12 seconds long You have to tell me about this. The porn star karaoke has been getting busier and busier every single week. It is insane. We have had lines out the door, we have people getting a little crazy in here which actually makes it a lot more fun. We have people dancing, singing horrible songs like this one, but people still love it. What is the craziest thing you've seen at a karaoke night. Uh, I don't know if I'm allowed to say that. Why aren't you singing? Nah, not me. (Indiscernible)

This ass is singing though.

Hey where is my back up b# # ches. C'mon girls. porn star, porn star, yeah I'm going far, porn star, porn star, yeah I'm going far, CLK Mercedes Benz, 2006 f# # # kn A 2006 with 20 inch rims call it glitz. I can rhyme but that's the s# it, JW is in the house f# # # ing a dog from Anaheim, California, OC baby, I'm down with it from Laguna Nigel to Mission Viejo that's my town Dude, I didn't know you could freestyle. I didn't even know I could either, s# it. Yagermeister some alcohol f# # k, a little bit of Viagra.

This girl can sing.

What a way to end this thing. We are done here. Quick break, when we come back, waffles. We'll be right back.

How do we feel about the chicken and the waffles It is so good. Together. Oh my God. It is orgasmic.

Welcome back to the show my friends, how ya doin? We have done a lot so far. We've seen turtles race, we've seen porn stars sing, well now I'm going to show you chicken and waffles. This place behind me is famous, it's called Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles and the time to come anytime after like 2 a.m. the clubs all get out at 2, so all these people here, they've been drinking all night, c'mon let's get some waffles and of course talk to drunk people. I hope they're drunk.

Chicken in Hollywood, you know what I'm saying chicken and waffles is a west coast monument. And as you can see, we're loving is baby, we're loving it. Come here Arlo get inside that car.

We love waffles.

Ah, the way to end a night in Los Angeles clearly is a little chicken at 3 a.m. Go ahead what say you? (chewing) Chicken at 3 a.m. All right now how did you first learn about this, because this place is famous. My roommate. Yeah. My roommate took me here for the first time and we ate waffles and chicken and macaroni and cheese the best macaroni in the world. I swear. We thought the perfect way to end the night Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. How are we doing? Roscoe's is bomb, never been but I heard it is great food. Where, go ahead. I've been here before but I'm vegetarian so I just get the waffles. So, everybody want to eat chicken and waffles as you can see. Uh, the delicacy of the black man which is known to be chicken, it has become an international think now. Everybody like birds now and there ain't but 4 black people out here right now. We drove past uh, the Playboy Mansion, I was tempted to go in and show some boobs and get in but I'm down with that s# it as long as I'm in there too, all those playboy chicks man. We are from Sierra Leon, West Africa. Sierra Leon and uh, and that is in Africa. Big ups for Sierra Leon. and really the way I like it, you can take a couple girls out on a date, you can feed five people for $16. Look at that. Oh. This is the best place, you see I'm fat and full over it. Everybody loves the chicken, this is clearly a romantic night. It is a romantic night Yeah it is. What have we done tonight? We went to a club? What did we do? We went to a club, and we were at I Bar and we got really freaky. Let's see a little shot of the freaky, real quick, go ahead. Freaky. (Art laughs) What did you get to go. These are 3 number 3s. Three #3s. We have no idea. First time here. Having chicken and uh, They call me D Williams. They call me D. Williams. Hey check me out. D. Williams, what has that got. What you got for me man. You see that guy run with his precious chicken when he thought you really were going to take it. He had chicken? Oh, I got money for that. I'll buy the chicken from him. We are going to go ahead and order a #9, a #6 Right. That's two waffles 5 pieces of chicken, we're going to live to an after hours spot and then go home and go to rest, that's it. It's like 3, you mean you have another place after this? Yes, a lot of people, see the misconception people think L.A. is over at 2 a.m. but it is not. You got to get in where you fit in. if you know people, you know that L.A. doesn't close until the sun comes up. You gotta stop. That goblet is fantastic. How did you know to come to Roscoe's? I seen a couple people standing out in front. I was doing my fizzle on the blick a day and I seen what was happening so I intervened on the action and find out it was some chicken. Look at this wardrobe. A rap star, so you love the waffles and chicken? Yeah. Look at that. Now wait a minute, wait a minute, where are the waffles? I got them. Okay, it is separate when you get it to go.

What is the attraction of putting these two things together because I never heard of putting waffles with chicken. Waffle chicken is like pancake and sausage

What's the technique? Do I eat the chicken first and then the waffle? No, you cut into the chicken then you cut into the waffle, put the waffle in there, into the chicken and eat. So, the proper way, that fork should have some chicken, some waffle maybe a little syrup. Put the butter on the waffles and then you put the syrup on and you cut em up, and then you put a piece of chicken on the waffle and then the waffle in there and you put it in your mouth. Can you name drop, give me one celebrity, a big celebrity that has been in here. Huh? Big Mike. Lou Diamond Phillips, Rob Lowe. What about Cameron Diaz? No, not lately. I'm going to try some of these, what do you recommend? The number 2? Well no, I recommend the #1, the fried chicken. You okay? Fried chicken, two waffles, and then you put the syrup and your butter on there then get an eclipse, the lemonade fruit punch and then they all sit right on top of each other. That's love. That's called mother's love.

Is that butter right there? Yes butter. That's key. You can't play around with this. Wow.

Okay, we have the dark meat. Nice. All right, hold on. You're going to have to sit down for a second and explain what is going on here. Okay, we had the #1 and this is white meat, white meat is a breast and a wing with the two waffles and then we had the eclipse drink to go with it and the we also have the #1 with dark meat, a thigh, and a leg and two waffles. Is there a technique I should know about to eat this? No. You eat it how you like it. I seen people put the chicken on top of the waffles and cut or you can just eat the breast first and then eat the waffles. There it is Roscoe's. Happy ending. Some people go to Bangkok for a happy ending, right here. I go to Roscoe's. Tell our audience about the triplets right now. The triplets are the coolest thing ever since Guns and Roses. And what is, what are we like? Are we like old school? The ageless L.A. rock. You guys are actually triplets. Yeah we are. Are you guys a band? Yeah we're a band. So you travel around, you see some crazy stuff. Yeah we seen the crazy stuff ever. Tell my viewers right there. We done everything, we share the same girls, we share the same booze, we share Is this true? Yeah. You seen anything like this with the turtles and the racing. No. That is the craziest thing. The girls should have like shorter shorts would be like String bikinis. Yeah would be like uh, wet T shirt thing.